At least make sure they are 18
Why
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
