super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
