her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
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