Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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