Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
