You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Please don't give away my fajitas
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
