Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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