whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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