Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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