ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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