Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
