we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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