I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
