I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
