very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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