Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he laminated a picture of his dick.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize