was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
