Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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