i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
