Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Can vaginas get frostbite?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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