hotel room ftw
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
