8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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