her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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