no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
