ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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