just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
