Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
