he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
