The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
