so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
