he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
