I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Randomize
