how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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