hotel room ftw
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
he shaved USA in his pubs
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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