I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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