so that wasnt chicken after all
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
