I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
