goodnight i made you a song goodbye
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
