i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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