Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
