I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It was confusing and full of hummus
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
