i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
