Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
