Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
