You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
