Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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