On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i drank out of a bidet.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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