What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
