how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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