She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
