We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
